Unsure Steps

(I know… disturbing picture, right?)

My sister and I used to fight a lot growing up. In fact, we rarely got in trouble for anything
but fighting. When we did get in trouble, our mom would ground us and tell us that we had
to learn to like each other and get along before we were allowed to see or speak to any of
our friends because God put us together for a reason. She also said one day when you feel
like you have no one, you will have each other.

I’m glad she told us that then.

Anyway, I want to encourage you guys – if you don’t know what you’re doing, you’re not
alone! My husband and I know we’re supposed to be moving out of our apartment in two
months… problem is, we have no idea where we’re going! Crazy, huh? We’ve been fasting
and praying and asking God what’s next and all we keep hearing is that it’s time to move.
So, we’ll see how that goes. I know God is in control… I just hate not being the one in
control! So, I’m trying to kill the flesh here and just trust Him, but days like today (random
days feeling a little insecure and far from the many people I love) it’s strangely harder to do.
You’d think that it would make it easier to trust God without people around-but often it’s
quite difficult. I believe this is why scripture says not to forsake gathering together. People
help build you up, even when you’re not talking about “God stuff” (as some people I know
say). It builds you up spending time together, goofing off, and having fun. It’s good for the
soul.

Eh, maybe all of this is just the beginning of “after holiday blues” or something, but today I’m
having a hard time. It doesn’t help that we’ve all grown up – all friends and family included.
Sometimes I miss the days where you could call up your friends and talk for an entire day on
the phone without knowing. Nowadays I get annoyed talking to my husband on the phone. Ha!
I know that sounds terrible-but in knowing I’ll be seeing him in 30 minutes and that I have
things to get done before he gets home, I feel this pressing need to get off the phone! (I know,
I’m terrible.) I miss walking to the grocery store to buy candy to eat while watching a movie at
a friend’s house. I don’t think it would be too safe for me to walk to the grocery store around
here. I miss getting random phone calls with a friend on the other line saying “look out your
window!” only to see a bunch of my old guy friends standing across the street waving (even
though it was a little weird then…). I don’t know, I don’t think that’s exactly what I miss. I miss
friends – not that my family are not my friends, because they are-I don’t know anyone cooler
than my mom or anyone else I can laugh with more than my sister! And my husband, I couldn’t
be more blessed – he’s been the best friend to me than anyone could ever think to ask for or
dream of. But when you’re growing up you have this strange belief that everyone you become
“best friends” with will stay around for life.

I need to learn to take my own advice. A few months ago I told a good friend of mine not to panic
when there is space put between you and a friend-that circumstances change, life changes all the
time, but the friendship doesn’t have to. Just because you don’t talk everyday anymore and your
lives seem to be going in two different directions doesn’t mean that you can’t be the same friends
you’ve always been.

I need to get out of my own head.

I’m sorry guys if I sound a little like I’m complaining – that’s really not my heart here. I just needed
to get a little of my chest and out of my head. I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving! Be
encouraged, we don’t all have it together-and that’s totally okay. God’s grace is sufficient.

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Comments
2 Responses to “Unsure Steps”
  1. I think you took a page out of my book…. I mean the part where you said you need to get out of your own head πŸ™‚ That is so me lately- I’ve been doing the same thing and it did sound like I was complaining too (and one of my friends told me so) but I needed to get stuff off my chest too. There is a balance! Anyways, be assured, I hear ya! Hope you get the answers you guys are looking for. I’m in that boat as well- the fasting to hear what God is saying boat πŸ™‚ Hard place to be but a good place at the same time! Keep trusting in Him!
    ~Alyssa~

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